Writing-World - the site for freelance writers

Pet Peeves: 'Ima'

No, it's not a hybrid car, it's a hybrid word - and I hate it.

"Ima go to the store now," for instance, means, "I'm going to go to the store now."

"Ima have lunch," means "I'm going to have lunch."

And "Ima lazy so-and-so who can't be bothered writing out the words 'going to,'" means... well, you can probably work that one out for yourself.

"Ima" crops up more and more often these days in the language of people who think they are "being cute" by turning four words into one. These are, without a doubt, the same people who use the word "prolly" and think that "ppl" is an acceptable way to write "people", even in a business email.

Granted, the use of 'Ima' does conjure up a certain type of dialect, and may be useful to fiction writers who want to make their characters sound a bit more "real", but in everyday writing? No. Please, no. Make it stop, someone?

Pet Peeves.... about blog comments

I love getting comments at my various blogs, and I love leaving comments at other people's. But the fine art of blog commenting has given rise to a few Pet Peeves. OK, more than a few Pet Peeves...

I hate:

1. Comments that begin with the phrase “too bad” - as in “Too bad this post sucks”. It always strikes me as a particularly snarky way of saying “I’m about to put you down in a really snooty and superior way”. Yeah, too bad I'm going to delete your comment…

2. Comments that end with the phrase, “Just sayin’” i.e. “Isn’t that a typo in the second paragraph? Just sayin’”.

3. People who leave comments pointing out typos and spelling errors, again in that overly superior way. Sometimes this fault can be aggregated by turning it into: “Too bad you made a spelling error in the second paragraph. Just sayin’”

4. People who observe a typo and go through a stupid pantomime of pretending not to know what you mean because of it. “A clique? Oh, do you mean ‘a cliché’? Ah, I get it now!” So I always spell “cliché” wrong. So what? At least I don’t spend my time pointing out people’s spelling mistakes on the Internet.

5.  Use of the phrase “If you had done your HOMEWORK you would know…" especially when I DID do my homework, and I DO know...

6. Comments which start with the phrase, “I don’t mean to be harsh, but…” This basically means, “I DO mean to be harsh, but I’d like to pretend to myself that I’m a nice person, so I’m pre-empting my bitchy comment with a disclaimer.”

7. People who have Blogger blogs that are set to only allow comments from other people with Blogger accounts. Discrimination!

8. Commentors who call me "fat" or "ugly" just because they don't share my opinion on something. "The only reason you don't like this dress is because you're too fat to wear it!" Truly, the Internet is just one massive high school sometimes.

9. Commentors who demand my death. "You deserve to be shot in the head for liking this handbag." True story. I wish I was joking.

10. Getting no comments. At all. Ever. That sucks more than all the rest. (Except the "death" one, obviously. Nothing sucks more than people wanting you dead...)

What are your pet peeves about blog comments?

Writing Pet Peeves #4: 'Prolly'

"Prolly". Let's just take a moment to look at it. It's a stupid word, isn't it? Especially when you consider that the perfectly good word it's so often used to replace - "probably" - is in no need of replacing.

There is nothing wrong with the word "probably". It is not old fashioned, obsolete or silly. It has not reached the end of its useful life. The English language and the word "probably" have a long and rewarding relationship still ahead of them. Or they probably do, anyway.

You see, if the people who habitually use "prolly" to mean "probably" get their way, in a few years time I'll have to re-write the sentence above to say "They prolly will."  This will annoy me because I HATE 'PROLLY'. Hate it. It actually makes me cringe every time I see it written down.

I suspect the people who use "prolly" think they're being "cute" when they use it. Maybe it's the way they speak, who knows. Do the majority of people pronounce the word as "prolly" now? Probably. I mean, "prolly".  Shame.

Do you write "prolly" instead of "probably"? And if so: why?

Pet Peeves # 3: Text Speak. Or should that be "txt spk"?

A comment posted on one of my other blogs this week had me gnashing my teeth in fury and rolling my eyes in disgust. (Why yes, I DO love me some drama, yes I do.) I reproduce it here for your amusement:

"does n e one no wher chanelle got her black bow chain she wears xoxox"

Eh? Now, call me stupid (many people do) but it took me a good few seconds to actually translate this to "Does anyone know where Chanelle got her black bow chain she wears". Even that's not the greatest grammar in the world ever, but at least you could understand it - which is, after all, the whole point of writing. Why write something that people will have to puzzle over and spend time decoding when you could just get straight to the point with some good, old fashioned English?

Sadly, I think that good, old fashioned English is becoming an endangered species. The "xoxox" at the end of the message above tells me that it was probably written by a teenager, and this is how many teenagers seem to communicate these days. The text message has killed off the English language. Oh, how we mourn!

Personally, I refuse to give in to the txt spkrs. That's why Pet Peeve # 3 is Text Speak. It should really have been number one, shouldn't it?

Pet Peeves # 2: Should of/Would of

This really should be Pet Peeve number one, such is my hatred of it, but the top spot has already been claimed by our friend excessive punctuation, so this week, ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm (or, indeed, not-so-warm) welcome to Pet Peeve number 2: “should of/would of”.

“I should of told her I would be late tonight…”
“I would of called, but I’ve been busy…”
“I should of paid attention at school, then I wouldn’t make embarrassing mistakes like this one…”

Aargh! No! It’s should have! Would have! Not “of”! Where in the wide world do they get “of” from? Have! Have, have, have! Aargh!

Do you ever read blogs? I mean, blogs other than this one which, imperfect as it may be, is guaranteed never to use this cursed phrase? If you read blogs on a regular basis, you’ll see this one all the time: in fact, it’s become so common that I fear an entire generation is growing up with the belief that “should of” and “would of” are actually correct, and “should have” and “would have” are, in fact wrong.

Poor “have”. It’s endangered. Its dying out. Stand up with us now against the “should of/would of” brigade.” We will prevail!

Pet Peeves # 1: Excessive punctuation

Excessive punctuation. You’ve all seen it. Sentences which end with an entire line of exclamation points. Like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why? Why do people do this? I mean, OK, they’re excited, sure. And they want to exclaim about it. But one exclamation point tells me that the writer is excited. An entire row of them doesn’t tell me that they’re really excited. Just that they’re excited, and they don’t know too much about punctuation.

This excessive punctuation is everywhere. There are rogue rows of exclamation points everywhere I look. They’re in emails, on websites. Some of them are even in the speculative letters we receive from people looking for freelance writing work.

I’ll tell you a secret: I don’t really like exclamation points. Not even when there’s just one of ‘em. Oh, I’ll use them. But I don’t like them. There’s something a little too “perky” about them. I believe you should chose words which are powerful enough to not need exclamation points after them to help drive home their point. Especially not excessive ones.

So, the multiple-”exclam”. It’s becoming more and more prevalent, even amongst professional writers. And it is hereby named public enemy number one.