The best thing about being a self-employed writer

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an actress when I grew up.

When I did grow up, and entered the world of employment, I achieved my ambition. Oh, I wasn't paid to act - or not literally, anyway. I was paid to be a newspaper journalist, a press officer, even a call centre operator, but as far as I was concerned, no matter what my official job title was, most of my time was spent acting.

I would arrive at work in the morning and act like I was happy to be there.

I would act like the early mornings didn't bother me, although I am far from being a morning person, and don't generally feel human until at least 10am, and the second mug of coffee.

I would pretend to like and respect people I actually couldn't stand.

I would say I didn't mind staying late to finish that urgent press release, when really I wanted was to go home and get to be myself again.

I would sit in endless, pointless meetings and act like there was nowhere I'd rather be.

I would grit my teeth and smile when my boss asked me to work through my lunch break - again.

I would pretend to find my work interesting and stimulating, even when it involved answering the same questions over and over again, or covering the dullest committee meetings known to man.

In general, I made a living out of pretending to be someone I most definitely was not: a happy little worker bee who lived for the job and could think of no better way to spend her time than trapped in a windowless, airless office, earning money for someone else.*

These days? I don't do a whole lot of acting.

Oh, there are bits and pieces of pretense scattered throughout my weeks. Not being overly-fond of the phone, for instance, I have to pretend to be pleased every time someone decided to call me, or ask me to call them. And there's the odd difficult client or advertiser who I have to pretend not to be frustrated by, but for the most part, I wake up every morning and don't have to act like anyone other my myself. There's an honesty to my working life that was sadly lacking before, and it's perhaps the biggest reason why I'd never want to go back to office life. Well, that an the early mornings, of course.

I guess acting really wasn't for me, after all.

*It had its good points, too. 

Comments

[Marce]

Great post and so true. I am not a morning person and used to be at work at 7:30AM. All the morning people wanted to know why I would hide out in my cubicle until 9 or later. When I did have to go to the copier or walk around, I had to plaster a fake smile on my face so people wouldn't think I was "grumpy" or being rude. Ugh.
You're right, I no longer have to do that and it feels great to be myself!
Oh and don't get me started on boring meeting!! :)

[Karen Swim]

I really enjoyed this post! What an insightful connection. One of the (many) things I don't miss about Corporate America is acting like boneheaded decisions really make sense. Reading your post made me dance with joy because we really are free to ourselves yippeee!

[Lillie Ammann]

Thanks for the great reminder of how blessed those of us who are self-employed are.

[Kathryn]

This gets right to the heart of why we love working from home! I've never heard it put so succintly but it's true that most of us ultimately don't want to have to be something we're not which is what going to a job environment often means. There are many different things that I disliked about offices which aren't a problem in freelancing but it really does boil down to the fact that this way I can just be me. Thanks!

[Jade]

I am not there yet; that is, I am still acting. I work in an office and hate it; I smile at my boss and try not to be condescending as I explain things that I know are beyond his comprehension. I hope to one day achieve what all of you have - freedom, and the chance to be yourselves and do what you love every day.