A "unique" style of writing

I don’t switch Instant Messenger on very often. The reason? Every time I do switch it on, something like this happens:

unique girl says:
hi
unique girl says:
asl plz?
unique girl says:
r u freelancer?
unique girl says:
i want to get guidance abt freelance writing?
unique girl says:
may u help me

unique girl just sent you a Nudge!

unique girl says:
???????????????
Amber says:
Hi, how can I help?
unique girl says:
first introduce urself
unique girl says:
who r u?
unique girl says:
from where u r?
unique girl says:
what do u do?

unique girl just sent you a Nudge!

Note, if you will, the two “nudges” this person sent me – both within the space of about 60 seconds. For the uninitiated, a “nudge” is a method of “prompting” the other party to respond: It makes your screen shake violently, and has roughly the same kind of effect as being grabbed by the collar and shaken. Nice.

Now, I’m not going to insult anyone’s intelligence by going through all of the many ways in which this is not the best way to try and get someone to help you with your freelance writing career. Or why an inability to write in, you know, standard English will maybe be a leeetle bit of a problem in that chosen career.

Suffice to say that Instant Messenger remains switched off for the foreseeable future…